mistletoe
by stolashoots
Summary: It's a shame mistletoe doesn't exist in the Underground, but that's not going to stop Sans. Requested by marisaires on tumblr


**A quick thanks for** marisaires **for suggesting this! Sorry it took so long, haha;;**

 **Happy Valentines day, everyone 3**

If anything is to be learned from their exile, it's that monsters are incredibly adaptable. Just the fact that they were able to survive the change from above ground to the underground is remarkable by itself, but even more amazing is that they seem to flourish in the harsh environment. They learned to change their ways, to invent new traditions and practices, and continue living.

And yet, there are still disadvantages to not being allowed to return to the surface world. For one, with all the time spent discovering how to grow food-producing plants, many less useful ones were simply forgotten, such as the mistletoe.

…Or, theoretically, that is. Sans certainly hasn't heard of the plant before, but here is an image of it, hidden inside a book Papyrus picked out at the librarby. He squints down at the page, attempting to comprehend the connection to it and the seemingly innocent tradition it was related to.

"Wait, why are they kissing," Papyrus asks, peering at the two humans locking lips.

"That," Sans says, pointing at a little leaf about their heads, "is the reason. The book says it's a mistletoe, and when two people stand under it, they have to kiss."

"A leaf that makes humans kiss? I've never heard that before. Does it have some sort of magical power?" Papyrus reaches out and takes the picture book into his hands, studying the image. He flips the page and shakes his head. "No, right here it states that it's just a tradition. Too bad, a plant that could make people kiss would be cool."

He returns the book back to Sans, and he continues to read it aloud. The topic of plants and kissing isn't mentioned again that night, but it hangs in Sans' mind like fly caught in spider silk.

"And that is why I'd like for you to look into recreating a mistletoe plant," Sans concludes, glancing up at Alphys. She blinks once slowly, then turns to sip at her coffee, eyes unfocused for a second before she sighs and shakes her head.

"So, let me get this straight," Alphys rubs the bridge of her nose. "You think we should grow some mistletoe and infest the underground with it as a prank?"

Sans nods expectantly.

"Sorry Sans. As much as I'd like to help you, that's not really my field of work. If you wanted me to build a robot, sure, I could do that, but creating a plant based off an image in a book is going to be more complicated. Now, if we had any genetic material similar to it…" Alphys shakes her head again and offers a nervous smile.

"It's okay, Alphys, it's not that big of a deal." He gingerly picks up a pen off the table they're sitting at and crosses off a line of chicken scratch on his note pad.

"You know," she says after a second of silence, "You could just ask for a kiss."

Sans jumps, thanking his lucky stars skeletons can't blush. "What? What are you talking about?" He hadn't mentioned anything about kisses when he explained his reasons.

"The mistletoe," Alphys says, setting down her cup and eyeing the clock on the wall. "If two monsters stand under it, they have to kiss." She pauses, then gives him a meaningful look. "What, did you really think I wouldn't know the tradition behind it? It shows up in almost all of my romance novels!"

Sans sinks in his chair, not meeting her eyes. "That… that would have been part of the prank. It would have been funny to see everyone get all flustered when they saw the mistletoe above them."

Alphys shakes her head, smiling. "Most monsters probably don't know about the tradition. No, you were planning on using it for your own personal gain." She leans back in her seat, reaching over to pull two figurines on the edge of the table over to her. She fiddles with the two of them, making them hop about as she thinks.

"I have an idea," she announces. "We may not be able to grow real mistletoe, but you could always make fake ones. I have some craft supplies I found at the dump a while ago and haven't gotten around to using. No one will be able to tell the difference."

Sans straightens up, eyes widening. "You're right! It probably wouldn't be that difficult, either, and I just need a small bit of it for things to work. Alphys, you're a life saver."

Alphys flushes and stands, scurrying off to collect the supplies, then dumps them onto the table. There's a pack of clay, paint and brushes, twine, cotton balls, and more craft items that may be of use. "I'll make a deal with you, Sans. You can take all that you need, and if this plan of yours works, I get to borrow your creation and try it out for myself."

It takes longer than expected to make the pseudo mistletoe, and Sans certainly wouldn't consider it to be his best creation as of yet, but he only has a small, faded image in a picture book to go off of. He isn't even sure if his plan will work, so on the chance he isn't able to pull it off, he could always act like it was just some kind of joke and laugh it off.

With the help of a bit of magic and duct tape, Sans successfully pins his mistletoe over the front door of his and Papyrus' shared house. He opens the door, and steps outside, then turns to check and see if the little fake plant is visible. It isn't, which is good because it won't be much of a surprise if-

Sans jumps and whirls around when a warm hand is placed on his shoulder. "Oh!" He exclaims, his voice embarrassingly squeaky. "There you are, Doc."

Dr. Gaster gives him a pleasant smile and lets go to sign, " _Good evening, Sans. Is everything alright? I wasn't expecting such a sudden call from you._ "

"Oh, yeah, yeah, everything's peachy, I just wanted to hang with you. It's been a while." Sans mentally curses; of course Dr. Gaster would be suspicious of his sudden invitation and suspect something was up. It'd been weeks since they last had any form of contact, with Sans living so far away and Dr. Gaster often holed up in his laboratory. No doubt the genius scientist has already seen through his plans and intends on avoiding them, or worse, fall for them to humor him.

Dr. Gaster seems to accept Sans' excuse and gestures at the open door. " _Shall we? I hope you don't mind, but I brought entertainment. Alphys found a few DVDs of human lectures on theoretical physics, and I haven't gotten around to watching them yet._ " Dr. Gaster begins moving forward, determined to enter the house before Sans can think up a reason not too, Sans following along so he can keep sight of Dr. Gaster's hands.

" _I think you'll enjoy them_ ," Dr. Gaster signs as they pass through the doorway together relatively unscathed. " _One of them is about parallel universes, I think. Perhaps it has relation to the Schrödinger's Cat thought experiment? No matter. You do have a DVD player, correct?_ "

Sans nods slowly and points towards his living room, eyes flicking up to the mistletoe hanging innocently above them. Should he take his chances and say something? Maybe this was a bad idea; he and Dr. Gaster were only slightly more than acquaintances, it would be weird for him to suddenly demand a kiss like this.

"Go on ahead," Sans says after a too pregnant of a pause, "let me grab some snacks first." Dr. Gaster throws him a final smile before walking off to the living room to hunt down the DVD player, luckily not bothering to look back and risk noticing the mistletoe.

Speaking of mistletoe… Sans lets out a sigh. Though the crisis has been diverted for now, Dr. Gaster could possibly become aware of the tiny plant at any given time during his stay. Should Sans remove it before it's seen? Had anyone else been in his home, he would have simply used his magic to tug at the duct tape and let it fall into his hands, but Dr. Gaster is pretty observant and could potentially figure out what he was doing. Sans is too short to reach the plant by himself, but there is a stepping stool in the kitchen he could use to grab it.

A noise of triumph springs from the living room; Dr. Gaster has found the DVD player. Sans quickly pours some pretzels into a rather large bowl, and joins Dr. Gaster, flopping down on the couch as his friend fiddles with the electronics. It takes a handful of minutes before the DVD player is up and running, and then a few more before Sans finds the remote so he can hit play.

The first video is on String Theory, which from the sound of things, is about loops of subatomic string that vibrate to make noise that causes everything to exist. A lot of math appears on screen, and though Dr. Gaster seems enthusiastic about it, Sans has no idea what's going on. He spends most of the movie munching on pretzels and pondering how exactly he should go about removing the mistletoe from his doorway.

When the movie ends an hour later, Dr. Gaster moves to replace the DVD with another. " _You're fine if we continue watching, right?_ " He asks. " _We can do something else if you'd prefer._ "

Sans waves a hand, "Oh, no, this is fine. This stuff is actually pretty neat." It's not exactly a lie, Sans suspect that if the language wasn't targeted towards an audience of scientists and instead intended for the average monster, Sans would love it. But it's not, and it's a lot to take in. It's not bad, it's just… not the best.

The next movie is about… Well, Sans isn't really certain; he zones out to think about puns a quarter of the way through. He doesn't even notice the video ending until the credits roll and Dr. Gaster lightly touches his shoulder to grab his attention.

" _Sans_ ," Dr. Gaster signs out, " _I believe it's time for me to go. You look about ready to drift off at any moment._ " He smiles fondly. " _And, I have some paperwork I'd like to finish by the end of the day._ "

"So soon?" Sans asks, and they stand. Sans abandons the empty pretzel bowl on the couch to deal with later and moves to eject the DVD, sliding it back into its protective case. He hands the two to Dr. Gaster as he walks him to the door.

"It was fun seeing you again," Sans says, "We should do this more often."

Dr. Gaster nods in agreement, holding the DVD cases under his arms so he can sign. " _Yes, it was. I'm afraid I'll be busy the rest of the week, but would you like to come over to my house sometime next week?_ "

Sans grins, having not expected to be invited over. "Sure. Here, let me get the door." Sans opens the front door, and Dr. Gaster steps pass him to exit. Only, instead of continuing to walk away, he stops and turns back to Sans.

Before he can react, Dr. Gaster swoops down smacking his mouth against Sans' teeth. It's by no means the most suave kiss that's ever taken place in the history of kisses, but it leaves them both giddy. As Dr. Gaster straightens, he signs, looking away, " _You have mistletoe hanging._ "

Dr. Gaster appears about ready to flee, so he before he can do that and before Sans can talk himself out of it, he reaches out and grabs Dr. Gaster's lab coat (what a nerd) to tug him down and smack their mouths together once more. Sans lets go after a moment. "We passed under it twice," he explains.

" _Want to have dinner on Thursday?_ "

"I thought you said you'll be busy until next week."

" _I can make time._ " Dr. Gaster smiles, nervous but happy.

"Sure," Sans says, "I'll see you then."

 **Thanks so much for reading! Please remember to leave a comment~**


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